Drug Addiction and Alcoholism: A Substitute for Real Intimacy?
Drug Addiction and the Family
Some couples click because they like the same movies or the same foods, the same music or the same hangouts. Any common connection combined with mutual attraction can spark the kind of whirlwind romance that sweeps you off your feet. The one thing we all have in common is that inner longing for true intimacy: knowing someone as well as you know yourself, and trusting another person with your most vulnerable feelings. When one or both of you are addicted to drugs or alcohol, real intimacy is an impossibility.
Drugs and Alcohol Function as Security Blankets
Some couples rely on getting high or getting drunk in order to connect with each other. The anxiety, fear, and shame that shrouds them as individuals is too much to bear, even for themselves. Just the thought of opening up and exposing those wounds to someone else is a tortuous experience. When we allow the inner parts of ourselves to be seen, we risk rejection. The fear of being hurt by another person can become so overwhelming we feel as if we need to kill the pain to get past it. Drugs and alcohol become our shields, our emotional body guards that protect us from outside dangers.
Disconnecting is Not a Way Of Connecting
When a relationship is focused around drug or alcohol use rather than real human experiences, problems, and needs, we ignore the aspects of ourselves and our partners that are most in need of love and attention. Each partner begins to withdraw because their needs are not being met. Dependency on drugs and alcohol increases to cover up the pain of an inadequate relationship, and the dysfunctional cycle continues.
Detox and Drug Rehab Brings Couples Closer
Learning to live with yourself and love yourself in spite of past mistakes can pave the way for meaningful, intimate relationships with other people. If both partners recognize the need for change and commit to the process of detox and rehab, the common connection in the relationship evolves into offering support and motivation for staying clean, learning to work constructively on problems, and communicating effectively so that everyone’s needs are satisfied.
If the promise of a healthy relationship isn’t quite enough to convince you it’s time to get help, consider the possibility that at any time there could be an announcement of a new addition to the family. Do you really want to continue your drug habit with your pregnant wife? What kind of an example will you set for your kids if you keep drinking? If you’ve already kicked the habit by the time baby comes along, you’ll be ready to focus on your little one and provide for their needs while still paying attention to your own.
Tell Us: If your partner was more supportive of you getting clean, would it motivate you to get help?
Tags: Alcohol Rehab, alcoholism treatment, Drug Addiction, drug-rehab
