Every intervention ends with one thing: an ultimatum. The person addicted to drugs and/ or alcohol is offered the opportunity to drive to go to drug and alcohol rehab like The Canyon or else ….

That “or” can be a huge and weighty decision for family members. It must show that you are serious, that you are not going to put up with the bad behavior brought on by drug and/ or alcohol addiction any longer. And it must also be something that you are willing to follow up on. Whichever choice the addict in your life makes, your life is about to change as drastically as his or hers.

If Your Loved One Chooses Drug Rehab After an Intervention

We’ll start with the hoped-for outcome: choosing drug rehab at The Canyon. The intervention is over and your loved one is on his or her way to The Canyon in southern California. If you choose an inpatient drug addiction treatment program, there will likely be a blackout period, which means that you will not be allowed to contact your loved one by phone, email or letter and they will not be able to contact you. This is necessary so that they can focus on physical detox if necessary and begin to settle into treatment. Soon, though, when they are able, you may even be invited to participate in family therapy sessions and group meetings as well as family visitation days so that you can see the progress your loved one is making in treatment.

If Your Loved One Doesn’t Choose Drug Rehab After an Intervention

If they chose not to get help for their drug addiction, then you will most likely be experiencing an odd mix of depression and relief. It’s hard to let a loved one go but when that person is hurting you and your family, it is a necessary step. You may feel like a load has been lifted and, in a way, it has. Stand strong behind your determination and know that you are making the right choice for everyone in your family. There is still a chance that your loved one will choose to get help and if that happens, it will be due in part to you and your strength.

As much as we would all love to do things amicably, there are times when showing that you love someone means you have to get tough with them. The Encarta North American Dictionary defines tough love as “a caring [and] strict attitude adopted toward a friend or loved one with a problem, as distinct from an attitude of indulgence.” If you feel like you’re talking ‘till your blue in the face, the words just aren’t getting through, and the chaos is escalating, then it might be time to take a different approach with your efforts at intervening.

The Need for Tough Love Drug Addiction Interventions

If your loved one is known to have a history of any of the following:

• Violence
• Mental illness
• Multiple drug addictions
• Threats to self or others
• Emotionally unstable reactions

it’s a good indication that they are already under immense strain with their personal life and may react in such a volatile way that personal safety becomes top priority.

Any involvement that elicits physical, emotional or verbal abuse is counter-productive for everyone involved. Lashing out in kind only adds fuel to the fire, and sitting back and taking it puts all your control in the hands of the abuser. Assertiveness, on the other hand, allows each individual to claim control over their own actions without bulldozing over anyone else.

Mentally Preparing for Tough Love Interventions

Realizing you are the master of only your actions and no one else’s is the first step in being able to separate from the situation and observe what’s happening from a distance. Thinking over the risks associated with getting involved vs. doing nothing, can you live with yourself if someone gets hurt – or worse?

Take the time to talk over your options with a pastor, mentor, therapist, or good friend who has experience with drug abuse and interventions. Explore the possible reactions that could surface when your loved one discovers you’ll no longer play the role of the victim or enabler. Know ahead of time how you will respond to assertively defend your decisions.

Tactical Maneuvers for Tough Love Interventions

When faced with a crisis situation, your first priority is to protect yourself from harm. Teach family members and children to call 911 for threats of violence or suicide, any type of physical assault, and loss of consciousness (drug overdose). These are legitimate emergencies that need to be handled promptly by paramedics and first responders.

Notify law enforcement when you suspect drugs are on your property, or your loved one is driving under the influence. Report thefts, trespassing, vandalism, and truancy immediately and press charges whenever possible.

Ignoring the problem will not make it go away; it rewards the behavior by allowing a free ride for unaccountability. Responding assertively brings a new awareness of consequences and sense of responsibility to a drug addict’s chaotic world. Eventually – hopefully – they will begin to understand the reactions to their own behaviors and realize that it is up to them to change the pattern by getting help for their problems.

If your child was using, would you choose the same or different methods than the ones described here?

Drug Addiction Out of Control

Everyone knows about it, so why won’t somebody do something about it? Saying anything to an addict about their behavior is risky – you’ll be labeled the “bad guy” for accusing them of having a problem, or family members might reject you for attempting to get involved and rocking the boat.

In America’s DIY culture of the twenty-first century, needing help from outside sources can be viewed as a weakness. But knowing there’s a problem that needs fixing and knowing how to fix it are two different things entirely. When your conscience keeps pushing you to speak up, there’s probably a good reason.

When to Get Involved When Drug Use is Out of Control

The best time to get involved is anytime – tomorrow may be too late: violence, accidents, incarceration, and suicide are all very real risks for someone struggling with an addiction. You never know where their quest for drugs might take them or if they’ll steer clear of getting buzzed before getting behind the wheel of a car. Simply possessing an illegal substance can lead to an arrest (not to mention the costly legal proceedings involved) and because drugs alter the fundamental chemistry in the brain, mental illnesses are fairly common in long-term users.

Children in the care of an addict are especially vulnerable to bizarre, unpredictable treatment. Small and powerless, children are often the mute recipients of an addict’s attempts to control their environment. They are on the front lines and in the trenches, and the sooner you step in and speak up can make all the difference in whether they escape a nightmare.

How to Approach An Addict When Drug Use is Out of Control

Off-the-cuff confrontations are a disservice to everyone involved. Verbally attacking an individual (even when they’ve done something wrong) won’t get you heard. If you truly want to help, start by reaching out with an olive branch. Focus on emphasizing your love and commitment to your spouse/child/friend/family member. Remind them of all the tough times you’ve been through together and all the good times you’ve shared. Reiterate that you want to share more of those good times and get through the bad stuff – together.

Having done your homework will help things run smoother. Research the addiction by reading books and websites, visiting forums and chat rooms, and participating in AlAnon or NarcAnon meetings. Make a list of the specific points that you want to discuss with your loved one and ask for feedback from a professional. Rehearse what you want to say along with responses to potential rebuttals as many times as it takes until you feel comfortable with the material.

What to Do for an Addict When Words Don’t Work

Keeping your composure doesn’t always guarantee success in convincing someone they need help. Here are a few suggestions in case talking about it doesn’t illicit the response you were hoping for:

• Present information from local health clinics
• Accompany them to AA or NA meetings
• Make an appointment with a physician for them to discuss medical concerns
• Seek out professional counseling and/or drug treatment centers
• Consider contacting children’s services if neglect or abuse is suspected

Tell Us: What are some other ways you can think of to motivate a loved one to get help for their drug addiction?