Family Culture Affects Drug Use Choices

You’ve had all the talks, you’ve stressed the importance of staying away from drugs and alcohol each and every time he leaves to go hang out with his friends, you’ve made yourself available to talk about pressures from school or troubles with relationships, and he knows every speech before the first words even leave your mouth. Clearly, he’s listening. So why do you still feel troubled?

“How acceptable children thought it was for adolescents to drink alcohol was explained by their own self-views, not by their mothers’ beliefs about them. And that’s not surprising given that what you think about yourself is going to be strongly tied to what you think is acceptable behavior,” says Stephanie Madon, associate professor of psychology at Iowa State University.

In other words, “the more acceptable teens believed adolescent alcohol use was, the more alcohol they tended to drink themselves.”

Clear Communication has Positive Effects for Children’s Alcohol Use

Science is just now catching on to what women for centuries have referred to as maternal instinct. Moms have their own beliefs about drugs and alcohol use that were likely influenced heavily by their mothers and grandmothers before them. The challenge, then, is to instill those beliefs – those moral values – into our children so that they become second nature before the itch to leave home and experience life on their own starts kicking in.

Madon advises mothers to communicate in every way possible the message that alcohol use during adolescence is out of the question. When kids begin to internalize this message and repeat it over and over again for themselves, claiming it as their own belief, what tends to form is an equally unacceptable view of underage drinking, both for themselves and for their friends.

Delivering the Message about Teenagers and Alcohol

There are many ways to get the point across that teenagers are not yet ready to use alcohol. But just telling them not to do something is the surest way to actually get them to do it. There must be a reason you’re telling them not to, and if you’re not offering any explanation to reinforce the directive, kids will have to find out what you’re talking about the hard way.

The most important thing you can do to instill a firmly-rooted belief is to start early. We don’t wait until our children are ready to host a fancy dinner party then give them a crash course in table manners. From the time they are small children sitting in a high-chair and learning to feed themselves, basic rules come into play (keep your plate on the table, don’t throw your food or put your fork in your eye) to keep order and avoid disaster.

The skills we learn at a very young age develop into some of our greatest strengths as we begin to mature. So give your kids videos about how to say no to drugs, attend community presentations about drug safety, ask questions to the firefighters and police officers who volunteer at the events, point out the repercussions of dependence and addiction to alcohol by using friends and neighbors as examples.

Whenever you see evidence of drugs and alcohol being used, ask your child what he would do if faced with the same situation and you weren’t there. Teaching our kids how to avoid the dangers in life is not the same thing as telling them. Get them thinking about alternative solutions and you’ll be giving them the tools they need to successfully navigate in the real world.

Tell Us: Do you think drugs or alcohol would be such a struggle for you now if your parents had explained more about them before you had a chance to experiment?